It all started with a desperate attempt to save our marriage. We were separated and on the verge of divorce. Infidelity was the main reason. But regardless of the damage that had been done, we were both willing to give our marriage a second chance. We say second chance and not “try”, because as Dr. Lampert will tell you, there is no such thing as trying, you just simply do it. We didn’t have the support of too many people and there was certainly not too many who thought we would make it. Most people thought we should divorce, then again we had only been married for less than a year and had no kids or property or house to hassle over. But Dr. Lampert believed in us. Week in and week out, good days and bad, she always believed we could overcome it. Dr. Lampert once told us “Whatever you focus on will grow and whatever you ignore will die”. We hold that very dear to our hearts.
So with God in the center of our marriage, Dr. Lampert counseling us and never giving up on us, the right people in our lives and both of our willingness to make the marriage work, we have now been married for three and a half years, built a home together and are expecting our first child this summer. We could never thank her enough for the encouragement, dedication, patience and perseverance she showed us during our year of counseling.
T.B. and N.B.
"I Will Never Forget"
I walked into your office,
afraid and vulnerable…
Unsure and uncertain…
Full of fear,
willing to share…
I put my trust into you,
each time we would meet,
I let myself feel,
you helped my heart heal...
We explored ever so much, my heart you
I will never forget
how far I have come,
together, how much healing I have done...
I will never forget;
"Healing with her was different than the other therapists…"
I had a growing distaste for therapists. Nine therapists and no improvements in my crumbling mind. When I went to see Dr. Lampert, I didn't know what to expect. Mostly because depression had dulled my emotions to apathy. My mother had called her "very hip and trendy", and it was an accurate description - wearing fashionable clothes and a smile she greeted us. Healing with her was different than the other therapists I had dealt with. She promised to keep my secrets, only telling my parents what I was comfortable with. For a suspicious teenager who had been disappointed in life, this was a beacon. She kept her word. I didn't feel the need to lie and hide - I was able to share without judgement. It took me years of work to heal. Shaking hands and toppling panic. I was guided through recovery. My hands are still now. I feel tall, and while I may not always be in control I know that I won. I know now that I have the power to heal again. That in itself is my recovery and it was worth the fight.
"Anything in life worth having is worth working for." - Andrew Carnegie
After being together for nearly 15 years (seven years of marriage), raising two children, and the everyday pressures of our busy existence, our lives had become quite hectic and we began to find ourselves moving away from each other instead of moving towards one another. Our once loving relationship was on the verge of disaster. Years of poor communication skills coupled with the lack of the appropriate tools to address our evolving and legacy issues had brought us to the brink of divorce.
We had simply become unable to even talk to each other without the conversation resulting in a fight or disagreement; which fostered more angst and frustration within us both. We reached out to Dr. Lynn Lampert as an almost last stitch effort to try and salvage at least a friendship or an amicable parting. We hoped we would preserve some dignity within us both and have the least impact on our children.
While we both were not fully on the same page at the onset, Dr. Lampert is a true professional who provided us with a comfortable and safe environment to attempt to communicate. The process involved work on both our parts, and there were times where we both wanted to give up; however, Dr. Lampert was always able to reel us back in and identify the underlying issues that exasperated our situation. We learned to identify the triggers, reflect on our past, and realize that some of our behaviors had been planted in us long before we ever met each other.
There were numerous occasions where one or both of us had thrown in the towel, when things just seemed too "heavy" or things we didn't want to admit or accept about ourselves. Again, Dr. Lampert was able to identify and react to these situations in a truly professional manner and approach them from an angle unseen to either of us, she always had a way to bring us back down, or at least get back in the room to talk it out. The process was not a quick one, as one would expect it took use several years to undo the damage we had done to our relationship.
The process required commitment on both of our parts, a commitment to find that place, or a new place where we could be happy together again. A new place where we could talk to each other without prejudging the conversation, without reacting before actually listening, a place where we could use the tools Dr. Lampert provided us to rebuild our life, our marriage, and our family. Had it not been for Dr. Lampert we are quite positive that we would not be where we are today.
Today we talk to each other, we listen to each other, we don't perceive criticism as personal attacks, we trust again, we love again and our family and our relationship is far better now than it had ever been. If you are willing to put in the time, the work, the commitment, and the effort required to salvage your relationship, then you should allow Dr. Lampert to guide your process and allow her to teach you the skills and identify the issues that are keeping you from realizing the full potential of your partnership.
"I don't think I can say this to you without getting emotional so I decided to write it down."
I don't think I can say this to you without getting emotional so I decided to write it down.
I can't even believe it's been a year since I started with you. I've been thinking a lot lately about how this time last year looked so different. I was riddled with anxiety and panic attacks, couldn't have hated myself more, and was struggling to function. As if that wasn't enough, I was scared out of my mind to ask for help.
This year has been the most difficult journey I've ever been on but it has been the most meaningful and important one yet. I don't think I ever thought it was possible to live like this and be so happy. I don't think I even imagined any of this was going to happen when I set up my first appointment with you.
I can't think of a good enough word to express my gratitude so I will simply say, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You. Thank you for being a part of this journey with me and holding my hand. Thank you for all the gifts you've given me: the ones you know you gave and the ones you didn't know you gave. Thank you for believing that I could get here and for your patience. I know I have more to do but I'm so happy I've made it this far I could hug myself - (and you!). Thank you for everything you've done and for all yoru help. Even more, thank you so much for everything that you are. But most importantly, thank you for everything that you are to me.
Do you remember back in teh beginning when I told you I felt like my heart was broken and I was the one that broke it? Well, I'm happy to say I finally feel like I'm starting to put the pieces back together. I want you to know I've put your name on one of those pieces.
Have a great holiday with your family and I will see you in two weeks in 2017!
"We are and will always be grateful…"
Lynn is an extraordinary woman. We are and will always be grateful to her for helping us overcome one of the greatest hurdles a marriage and family could ever experience. Because of Lynn we are stronger, healthier, more secure and happier than we've ever been. Her patience and time with us helped us see past the past. She taught us how to overcome communication barriers and trauma, to emerge renewed and whole again. We are lucky to know her.
"The Xmas Letter"
Last year I wrote you that I couldn’t believe it had been a year with you and yet, here we are two years working together. I thought I had come a long way last December but I feel like I still did so much this year.
I have run out of ways to say Thank You. Each passing week brings new levels of appreciation for all you do for me and help me with. My gratitude is bursting at the seams.
In one of our sessions in the first year, we were talking about how there were times therapy felt really hard and showing up every week was a challenge. You asked me what kept me coming back and I said you did. You asked “ So someone holding you accountable for sticking with the work?”. I said “sure” because I didn’t know how to express what I really meant at that stage in therapy. But what I remember I really wanted to say was “yes, the accountability but mostly because it’s you I come back to”. Never in my life have I had a relationship with someone like the one I have with you. You were the first relationship where I was supposed to be authentically me and nothing else. That was scary because you were also the first person to hear all my secrets. But not once did you ever respond to me with anything but compassion. And I started to feel really good about myself when I was with you in our sessions and, from there, I was able to apply that to myself. No matter what is happening in my life, whether its good or bad, I get to sit on that couch across from you and feel like I am good enough. So much of that comes from the fact that its you specifically sitting in the chair across from that couch.
There are so many words to describe you. Compassionate, kind, caring, resilient, dedicated, funny, smart, youthful, and so much more. If I had to set an intention on one word I would say Healer. So I wanted to put that intention on a My Intent bracelet. Like the quote I sent you says “A healer does not heal you. A healer is someone who holds space for you while you awaken your inner healer so that you may heal yourself”. You totally held that space for me and, most importantly, you made that space safe. And I know, hands down, that is why I feel the healing on a deeper level lately. In the beginning, as I moved through therapy, I felt my wounds opening up again and that was really painful. But you’ve helped me learn how to heal them the right way this time. It’s scary and empowering all at the same time accepting that they are there and learning to not be afraid to look at them.
Dr. Lampert, I don’t know where I would be without you. I know I have done a lot of work but I also know you were holding my hand for so much of it. I cannot imagine going on this journey with anyone else. What an intimate process it is to have someone helping you understand your true self. If I’ve run out of ways to say thank you, then all I can do is let you know how much our therapy bond means to me. It means more than you know.
The divine light within me recognizes the divine light within you,
About 3 years ago, I called Dr. L for help. My marriage was falling apart, and my husband was about to leave us. When I first spoke to Dr. L on the phone, I was a mess.
She was calm and encouraging. I spoke to my husband, and we decided to give it one last try with Dr. L as our marriage counselor. As we started our journey with Dr. L, she was frank and honest with us about our relationship. She opened our eyes to what we each had done to cause the breakdown of our marriage. She supported us during the ups and downs, educated us on how to create a healthy marriage, and guided us in the right direction.
We learned a great deal about ourselves as individuals and as a couple. Without Dr. L, we would definitely not be where we are today. Do we still have problems? Yes – but Dr. L gave us the tools to communicate and work through them instead of distancing ourselves and walking away from a beautiful relationship and family. We are truly thankful for Dr. L. She is an excellent therapist and a kind-hearted human being.
I've finally pulled this together! I hope all is well with you. I'm so happy I was able to connect with you and I will forever be grateful for all the advice and guidance you have given me (and Steve!). I realized when writing this that I miss talking with you - but we only have 4 months left on our adventure in Canada. I'll stay in touch and see you in December!
The first time I met Dr. L I immediately felt comfortable. She was a trusted confidant - really the only person I had that I could talk to. She would listen to me objectively without judgement. She provided me with great insight and was able to help guide me through many life challenges and transitions including family, career, motherhood, weight struggles, and a long-distance marriage.
Not only was she focused on repairing my mental health, but she was a great source of advice and offered sound referrals on diet & exercise, hormones, and even specialists for my son. She challenged me to have a voice. She calmed my fears, and she helped restore my confidence.
Finally, and possibly most importantly, I'm so grateful that Dr. L was in my life during an unexpected challenge with my marriage. She was instrumental in guiding me and ultimately my husband through difficulties that I never thought we would have to face. We are now strong and focused on our future.
Thank you Dr. L!